Почему "любить Бога" - это не всегда работает? (ENG)

There is one more thought has caught my mind regarding things that I see in Social networks and how they are affecting me. I think that each one, or at least almost everyone have heard about Big Church Pastor's actions, that become a subject of long debates, perplexes and despairs. 

This subject did not pass by me as well. However, that's not necessarily in my best interests to enter public correspondence or to maintain my own opinion by commenting this subject. In any point It is not my main goal, at least nowadays.

There's one thing surprised me. It is not even that someone wants to protect them, but the way defenders act. On private meetings for my personal question regarding servants behavior I've received this type of answer: “you have never loved God the way this person loves”, afterwards this answer was followed by “do not judge...” Etc...

Honestly, before the revelation of God's love, I was ashamed when people were saying things like: “This Pastor loves God so much!!..... (I was thinking that me myself I could not love God the same way that Pastor does). 

But now, as I understand, what does it really mean-To love God, I want to ask those, who consider that it's really enough to just " love" God for everything wrong to get away- What does it mean by your opinion “to love God"? (Now is the sermon!) Have you ever tried to love God? What does "The love to God" even mean? Is it action? Is it condition or something else?

If it's all about right behavior, subject seems to go this way: 

God has something like "Bank of Love" where you do have your own account.  So, if in some point, you did something good- let's say "you loved God "...that means it was added to your account. Therefore, if you have sinned, then some amount will be canceled from your account.

 Let's see it this way- if after long, loud augments which were called by your sin you still have positive balance in you "Bank of Love" account, (of course it's much beyond those who "loved God" not as good as you do ) , that means that you are still good and Bank manager (the God himself) doesn't have problems with you? And those who do not "love God as much as you do" have to keep quiet, because they have never been suffering as much as you did to fill up their account.

It is not easy to keep balance and not touch extremes when it comes to describing such complex subject as ‘What is the love to God means?", but the main point for you is to grab the point of my message.

I want to ask you few questions:

 Is it right to consider our love to God as a morality?

Is it fair to get credit for yourself from the love you have for God, or moreover to prove your right or wrong behavior by your love to God?

I do live with God for 15 years already. Since I was out of the swaddling-clothes, I was taught that I must love God, the right way I have to love God and it was important to know the difference between love to God and my own emotions. Of course In a sense, this point still applies. But my article has another direction. 

 There were so many ways I tried to love God, in any of them I did not feel satisfied.

I felt constant uncertainty that "I don't love God enough”, it was bringing me to some unreasonable, fanatic actions. When everything was finished, I was disappointed with my attempts to love God. A bit later I realize that Jesus, in a book of Revelation reproaches people not for the right behavior, but for the lack of Love.

Despite of huge amounts of sermons for this subject, it was a great revelation for me that the Love to God is not a moral. It is not right behavior ether. Although the love is a reason of the right behavior, but it doesn't based on it. The Love to God is able to lead us to the right behavior and it surely will.

But this process is individual for every man, everyone has his own way to make it, we can`t put everyone in the same mixing pot. But if priority would be given to morality itself, as an only conformation of your love to God, in this case there is a risk of to be too righteous. The result is obvious; there will be no joy, no passion.

There is just a hypocrisy and domination of a law. Although it may seem like shocking revelation, but I'm going to say it: For my opinion, people with correct behavior and those who love God are totally different categories of people. Even though, they are all believers.